1.
Even if the experience eventually becomes a stepping stone to success, most people struggle to find joy in the fact that things didn’t go as planned. When someone you care about is deeply discouraged, you may wish you could take on their emotional pain yourself. The mental shock of not achieving a desired outcome can be profound, and even after the wounds seem to have healed, memories of the event can resurface, causing emotional turbulence.
2.
First, it’s important to recognize that feeling down after a failure is neither a bad thing nor a good thing. Before acknowledging the failure, your loved one likely enjoyed the process of striving to succeed with all their might, so it’s important not to let the outcome dictate their emotions. The focus should not be on the results but on the enjoyment of doing what they love. Earning lots of money, constantly winning, or being kind to everyone―these are not inherently good things. What matters is the joy of continuously doing what one wants to do.
3.
When comforting a loved one who is down after a failure, the only words you need are, “Let’s find something fun.” Even if you don’t say anything, simply continuing to enjoy the present moment yourself can be enough. When you wish to change someone else, the approach should not be directed outward but inward, toward your own heart. And what should you do when you look within? Simply find what you want to do now and enjoy the fact that you are doing it.
4.
In life, there are those around you who may be perpetually ill, and others who never experience serious illness. Which of these lives is happier is something no one can truly know. Whatever the circumstances, if one cannot enjoy the present, it may be difficult to view their life as a happy one. If trying to enjoy the present is an effort, then it is an effort worth making and one that should be made.
5.
The ideal self is one who can naturally smile, no matter what happens, what you do, or what is done to you. Whether you are someone who gets irritated over small things, someone with insecurities about your appearance, someone who is struggling financially―no matter who you are, being a self who loves all parts of you is the key.
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